83 Things Every Man Should Do Before He Dies - Part 1

1. Apologize. Now, apologize isn't a thing you'll find on most bucket lists. But then, most bucket lists require you to exit your life, or your good sense, to execute the list items - parachute from outer space, visit the Titanic, sit through a whole season of a soap opera. Not that you'd be tempted, but don't do those things. Do these.

2. Take down that wall. Tile up a floor. Cut a tree.

3. Lose 15 pounds without talking about it. We have a program that might work.

4. Take one stunning train trip. The more nights, the better.

5. Say, "I'm sorry, too" when in the middle of a harsh argument with a loved one. Works only once per relationship. But it works.

6. Spend an excess amount of money on a really good suit.

7. Leave a tip big enough to make you feel uncomfortable.

8. Make a trip to Bonneville Salt Flats, site of land-speed-record attempts for more than fifty years and a big piece of gorgeous nowhere. Go there to drive very fast. Go there to camp. Go there for the sunrises and the sunsets and the stars at night. Go there to be alone.

9. Take a little girl to see The Nutcracker.

10. Nearly die, then don’t. Neil Labute has done it twice.

11. See a band’s last show ever.

12. Selectively run red lights.

13. Have yourself a little cannonball run. Different teams. Different beat-up used cars, procured specifically for this occasion and each costing less than $700. A race for time across 278 miles of road (and 90 degree desert heat) between Los Angeles and Las Vegas, and no rules about T-boning, rear-ending, or winning at any cost.

14. Volunteer.

15. Fly in the Beaver. You know the Beaver. Around since the forties and looks it. It has a big round radial engine, an oily, primitive thing the size of an old Volkswagen. But it flies, and lands anywhere covered in water.

16. Love something other than yourself. Like a dog. Or even a person.

17. Shoot a Glock. Do you know what it’s like to have a heart bursting at the end of your arm? Didn’t think so.

18. Write a poem. Make it about whatever you're feeling about whatever you're seeing in your mind's eye. A person. Someone you love. It's a fucking poem; why waste it on anger or fear? That stuff is what prose is for.

19. Try as many drugs as possible. Also, if possible, before 9:00 P.M. on a Tuesday.

20. Fuck a stranger before 9:00 PM on a Tuesday.

21. Take an incredibly important decision very quickly. ie: go from single to married in six whole days.

22. Learn to tell a joke. When in doubt, mock the powerful, not the powerless. And focus on the things that everyone hates or loves.

23. Pick two to four friends. Go on annual vacations. No significant others allowed.

24. Develop a personal uniform.

25. Coach kids. Not necessarily your own.

26. Write a country song.

27. Change someone else's tire without having to be asked.

28. Offer a stem-winding toast to your father, in the presence of your father.

29. Build an irresponsible fire.

30. Hold a newborn’s hand.

31. Get lost in the world. Sometimes when you don’t know where you are, you just may end up in the place where you most want to be.

32. Shovel soil onto a casket.

33. Take a month off.

34. Face your own mortality by taking a physical risk.

35. Drive cross-country the other way - from Great Falls, Montana, to Austin, Texas.

36. Walk somewhere at least 50 miles away.

37. Climb Angels Landing in Zion National Park.

38. Drive the Going-to-the-Sun Road in Glacier National Park.

39. Hondle. It's about shamelessness, about asking and asking and not caring when you get shot down. Once you achieve shamelessness, the world opens its arms to you.

40. Quit your job. Especially if you are miserable.